Dr. Angela Lee is an example of one of the biggest trends in adoptions - single mothers. An optometrist, she led a "carefree life" with trips to Europe and Asia, and while she had an active social life, "there was no one special."

The one thing missing was a child. She says, "Each year I kept thinking that it would be nice to have a child, but I couldn't find the one person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thought about a sperm bank but that wasn't for me. And then I went to an AIDS conference."

The conference, held in Hong Kong, required a trip to Beijing. "It all came together," she recalls. "I was 38 and knew I could get a child from China."

And with that decision, Lee became a statistic. About one-third of all adoptions from foster care are by a single parent, usually a woman, according to the U.S. Department Census Bureau in 2003. The largest number of foreign-born children adopted by U.S. parents came from Korea (47,555 children), followed by China (21,053), Russia (19,631), Mexico (18,021) and India (7,793).

Lee, after going through the "tedious but not hard" task of "tons of paperwork" adopted Olivia, now age 5. "The Chinese officials did an amazing match," she gushes. "You just know you got the right child for you."

Force, found her daughter, Lily, through a different route. Middlebrook became acquainted with a young woman through Big Brothers/Big Sisters and occasionally would keep in touch with her. Then "out of the blue" the woman walked into the police station and told Middlebrook that "I needed a baby, and I needed to take her baby to raise."

The mother, still in her teens, already had two children and didn't want the third. Says Middlebrook, "I remember telling her that she needed to use birth control, but she told me that she didn't feel comfortable with that. Like she feels more comfortable giving away her baby?"

Middlebrook, 38 at the time, figured that she would have a child out of wedlock herself, but changed her mind after finding religion. "I was just living, that's all. I didn't have a plan. I would just go with what was happening," she recalls. But the baby needed her and she responded. "I made the commitment and moved quickly. I wanted to adopt her and do it the right way so that the mother or father couldn't try to take her. [The birth father's] family gave me a lot of grief about the adoption, but this was meant to be, and eventually they saw that. It just cost me a whole lot of money for counseling and legal fees."

The Adoption Turned Both Women's Lives Upside Down
Lee found that generally her family was supportive - if not surprised. "They kept asking if I knew what I was getting into. Was I sure I wanted to do it?" she recalls. She also had a relative who fought against the Japanese in World War II and who still harbored ill feelings against Asians. "He said some disparaging things," she says. "So I sat him down and set him straight. He did soften after he saw the baby."

Olivia changed Lee. She sold her thriving Midtown practice and moved from Brookhaven to the suburbs of Marietta. "It was a major life change," she says. "I take her to work and to day care. We're connected at the hip. And because she had some developmental delays, there are issues that consume all of our time."

She cut back on dating, preferring to stay with Olivia. "A lot of men are not looking to date women with children," she says. "That's their problem. Lord knows I've dated guys I shouldn't have. Having a child helps eliminate those guys."

Lee was so thrilled with motherhood she recently adopted another child from China: Addison, 18 months. Reality quickly set in. "It's great to have another one," she says. "But logistically, it's a nightmare. Dropping one child at a friend's house is easy if you want to do something, but you can't drop two off."

The first six months "have been rough," she recalls. "I couldn't see how I was going to do it without a spouse. I was outnumbered." Lee is still working on the logistics, such as job issues. Currently, she works an abbreviated schedule in the optical center of Super Target in Roswell. "I know it's right to have this child. She is not the problem," she says. "She exposed problems that were already there."

Now at age 44, Lee's life is arranged around her daughters with her professional and personal lives taking a back seat: "I would still love to get married. It would be miraculous." She laughs as she recalls a date where Olivia, then 4, was in the back seat: "He reached over to kiss me goodbye, and Olivia gets right in his face and starts saying, 'What are you doing to my Mommy?' Like I said, it would be miraculous."

But, her desire to bear a child is gone. "I feel that if I were to have a child it would mean that one more child stays in an orphanage," she says. "It's hard to live with that."

The children are thriving, although questions about a missing parent pop up. "When Olivia was about two, she started mentioning daddy in her prayers," says Lee. "She would say, 'God, I want a Daddy. Amen.' We just deal with it."

The family also deals with the fact that Lee is not Asian. "Olivia didn't notice the racial thing until recently, so we're just getting into it. I took her to China when I got Addison. We talk about China."

A Christian, Lee is a firm advocate for single people adopting children: "I think everybody ought to go out and get one."

Middlebrook, 41, is African-American and part of another adopting trend. Nationwide, the number of single black women adopting children is steadily growing. According to federal statistics, single women adopting children in 2001 accounted for 30% of all adoptions, as compared to the 1980s when that figure as low as 8%. Of all the adoptions by single women in 2001, 56% were African-American.

Like Lee, Middlebrook re-arranged her life after Lily. She only works the day watch so she can see Lily and shifted her priorities. She also moonlights at two other jobs but makes sure it doesn't cut into her time with her daughter. "I can't be having people in and out of my life like I did," she says. "I swore an oath to her, and I have to be set up so that everything revolves around her. It's all about her."

Like every new mom, Middlebrook gushes about her two-year-old. "She's funny, and she's a good person," she says. "Most of the time she's smiling. She's happy."

Lily gave a definition to Middlebrook's life - a reason to live. "I'm a cop. That's my job," she says. "There's more to life but before Lily I didn't know what my purpose in life was. I wasn't one of those who knew. But my purpose in life is to be there for Lily. She fulfills me. I'd love to find a husband but if I don't, it's okay because raising her will be enough."

Middlebrook, who lives in Cascade, admits there are some downsides, mostly financial. "I would love some decent childcare that I can afford," she says. I can't afford to adopt another."

But she firmly believes others should adopt. "It's the best thing that I've ever done. I'm not lonely anymore."

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