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Life With And After Breast Cancer
Five lessons of a survivor
by Tricia Dempsey, founder and chief executive officer of the technology talent firm Agile
September 8, 2008
"I
am 99 percent sure you have breast cancer. We will send your biopsy to pathology,
but if it is negative for breast cancer, we will biopsy again ... because I am 99 percent sure you
have breast cancer." These words took my breath away! After two false negative
mammograms and ultrasounds, I was sure that my visit would re-confirm the first two
results. Unfortunately, they did not. After I received my biopsy results it was
confirmed ... I had breast cancer.
The business side
of me immediately went into creating my strategy and initiatives to 'manage' this disease.
The daughter side of me just wanted my mom and dad to make it all better. The mother side of
me wanted to be sure my husband could put Catherine's hair in ponytails and knew how to give
butterfly kisses. And the wife side of me felt very sad that I wouldn't get to grow old with my
true partner in life, my husband Jeff. Once I pulled myself together, I learned several
important lessons about life with and after breast cancer. I learned five things during
my journey:
Lesson #1: Focus on surviving, not dying.
I read voraciously about breast cancer once diagnosed. Facts and figures, depending
upon your outlook on life, were encouraging. Almost 75 percent of both men and women survive breast
cancer. Diagnosis and death rates are on the decline. New and improved drugs are extending lives.
And with strong support and faith, I was going to make it! My doctor knew it too; she told me
that the next year was going to stink, but I was going to survive breast cancer.
Lesson #2: Take the time to build a great support team.
I decided to invest the time to get multiple opinions once diagnosed. I had to select an
oncologist, an oncology surgeon and a plastic surgeon. The best selections for me were
doctors with a combination of credentials, aggressive approaches, good bedside manner and
geographic location. I lined up my 'chemo' team. A supportive person would go with me to each
chemo treatment and others would take care of my daughter and husband, cook for my family and keep
my house in order the weeks I had chemotherapy. I had to get past asking for help and realize
that people wanted to do something, so I should let them.
Lesson #3: Go aggressive.
One thing I never wanted to regret was that I wasn't aggressive enough about eradicating my
breast cancer. My oncologist, Dr. Janice Galleshaw with Georgia Cancer Specialists, educated
me in our first visit that cancer is a cellular disease. Even though my lumps would disappear
after several rounds of chemotherapy, I never forgot that it lived at the cellular
level. I always opted for the most aggressive treatment. I never wanted to look
back and wish I could have, should have or would have.
Lesson #4: Acknowledge your breasts are not perfect to begin
with...but they could be better.
The night before my double mastectomy I looked at my breasts for a long period of time, and
finally I called my husband in to continue the critique. The left was larger than the right,
one sagged more than the other after six months of breast feeding my daughter. One nipple faced
slightly toward the right and so on and so on. After reconstruction, my breasts actually look
better, more youthful, more symmetrical and not to mention larger.
Lesson #5: There is life after breast cancer...and it is
great!
I now have an 8-year-old daughter and a husband of 13 years who make me thankful every day
that I survived. I started a business where I spend time each day with a team of people I truly
enjoy and respect, and I do business with the best clients in Atlanta. I love spending time
with my parents and brothers and sisters and try to leave very few things unsaid. I suck the
life out of each and every day and focus on whatever I can control to make a difference in my
world.
Six months of chemo, a radical double mastectomy, seven surgeries and five years of Arimidex
later, I am elated to say that I reached my fifth year as a survivor. My deep faith became a great
source of strength and my best hiding place during that difficult time.
In the words of Oprah Winfrey, 'I believe that every single event in life happens in an
opportunity to choose love over fear.'
Today, I would encourage every woman diagnosed with breast cancer to choose love and draw
strength by standing on the shoulders of friends, family and faith!
Tricia Dempsey founded Agile Resources, Inc. in 2003, while recovering from breast cancer. Since 2004, Agile Resources' annual golf benefit, Agile on the Green, has raised almost $100,000 to benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. As a result, Agile was named a Gold Sponsor for the 2008 Race for the Cure, one of only four Georgia companies so honored.
Agile on the Green will be held October 6th at Bear's Best Atlanta. To learn more, visit www.agileonthegreen.com.
