What Your Teenager Isn’t Saying

by Lisa Boone, Vice President of Wealth Management, The Atlanta Capital Group, Citi Smith Barney and Lucy Boone, University of Gerogia college freshman

December 2, 2008

M y daughter, a freshman at the University of Georgia, surprised me recently by sharing a paper she’d written for an English composition class.  She titled it “Behind A Meal.”  I titled it, “ A Very Big Thank You.”

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  It must have been Monday or Tuesday night because I was just asked one of my favorite questions from one of my favorite people. Mom called to inquire, “What do my girls want for din-din tonight?” No offense to Dad, but I much prefer that question over the typical Wednesday or Thursday night query we get at his house, “Where do my girls want to eat tonight?” My sister Maddy and I walked straight off the court, sweat chilling our bodies, friend and boyfriend drama crowding our minds, and the stress of multiple tests weighing us down. The question from our mother could not have come at a better time. No cravings came to mind, so I went with “surprise me.” Yes, something to look forward to.

    On this particular evening, the six-thirty drive home was dark-- a hooded swear-shirt and sweat pants kind of weather. We pulled into the garage and grabbed our armfuls of miscellaneous bags, some smelly and athletic and some filled with back-breaking books. I walked in our warm house first, and thus received Mom's first hug of the night.  She still wore her business suit (with the exception of pink slippers replacing heels), and a formerly white apron hanging from her neck.

    That evening the three of us enjoyed a rather simple meal. Consisting of lightly breaded chicken, buttered egg noodles and homemade apple sauce, the dinner still made me believe that Mom had out done herself again. Just that morning, like most, she had risen before the sun did, proceeded to work the entire day, and then magically managed to find the energy and drive to make a stop at the grocery store before preparing a fabulous dinner. This feat is one of the many hidden wonders performed by a single mother.
    Considering around 50% of marriages these days end in divorce, there are more than enough mothers around that have to work to support children in solitude. However, it is around seven or eight o'clock at night on Mondays, Tuesdays, and every other weekend that, in my mind, separates my Mom from all the others. It would be so easy for her to stock our freezer with TV dinners or frozen pizzas, but that would be considered a joke to my resident gourmet chef.

    Mom has buckets, tins, and baskets full of recipes from multiple sources including Gourmet Magazine and her talented mother. Nevertheless, Mom adds spice to every creation made in our kitchen. The true taste of a twice-baked potato is not known to those who have not tried one of my mother's potato masterpieces. Just as she distinguishes herself as a chef in her food, she does the same as a mother in her daughters. My sister and I will be the first to attest to her credibility as not only a caretaker, but also as a friend and role model. We both flourish under her guidance and examples, and quite frankly have made her proud in our accomplishments. But to be honest, I cannot take much credit. Without her motherly diligence, I, as a daughter and citizen, would be lost. Divorce is a painful experience and is never desired by a couple or an entire family. Despite the unfortunate break up my family experienced, I have learned to be thankful for such a wonderful person to look up to. My silver lining is seeing my mom illustrate the type of woman I aspire to be.

    As my sister inhaled her apple sauce, we chatted about the day's events. With the soothing, mellow voice of Norah Jones in the background, we broached subjects of meetings, tests, practices, sore feet, boys, lunch, and desired Christmas presents. In the privacy of our home, with chosen music, an amazing meal, and candles, this conversation grew far more intimate than what could have been accomplished in a restaurant. This atmosphere, typical of the feeling in Mom's house, contributes to the tight knit bond that prevails among all three of the Boone girls. Of course, we are girls and always have “girl things” to talk about, but there is an additional coherence that exists between us that most have not experienced nor can they understand. For example, Mom and I are able and feel comfortable to discuss topics that tend to make my friends squeamish when thinking about having a similar conversation with one of their parents. Maddy, my sister who is all of a year and a half younger, and I make an unbeatable team, always looking out for each other in terms of our combined best interests. Because of having these regular dinners, we created an indescribable relationship and bond, one that an outsider can only witness.

    Now at college, most "things" are different, but one of the greatest is the grand change in eating habits. The dining halls at UGA prove top notch and should receive nothing but praise. Always offering options and helping the freshmen gain their predicted fifteen pounds, Bolton, Snelling, O-house, and ECV never leave my friends or me short-handed in the food department. However, they cannot even be compared to the way I ate before coming here. The where, what, and how factors of dinner have drastically changed, and all this transition does is make me cherish the very seldom nights I currently get to enjoy at the dinner table that I have spent years sitting. Nothing screams “I'm home!” more than allowing my taste buds to indulge in a paradise that Mom so lovingly provides.

    I ended that night with an unbreakable sense of satisfaction. Granted, I went to bed feeling like a lion cub who had just eaten her body weight worth of food, but the true contentment came from the quality time I spent with my two closest family members and friends. Sitting at that table, whether working through issues or laughing or simply devouring our homemade food to the point of speechlessness, is an experience that I value, will always remember, and will long for. Eating together in our beautiful house as a united family of three reminds me of how lucky I am to be in such a loving environment -- regardless of the fact that my parent’s marriage did not succeed. Similar to her food in my stomach, my mom will always reserve a special place in my heart.  - Lucy Boone